The Pond Informant
Quote of the Week:"Even if the Bee Could Explain to the Fly Why Pollen is Better Than Poop, the Fly Wouldn't Understand" --Unknown, possibly Adekunle Jr
Today's Date:Monday, 06/24/2024 -- Man, now I gotta go to goodwill and get some really oversized clothes.

14-year-old boy wears baggy clothes

becomes kite and flies away

by Ben Slothenbroder from the humans-might-have-tails dept.

Yesterday Jacob Hickleflour was just mindlessly walking in the park without even thinking about the fact that his clothes were way too big.  According to souces that wish they had camera phones, he simply spread out his arms and leaned forward to rest on two trees.  When he did this, the wind picked up and carried him away by his insanely oversized hoodie and way too baggy pants.  Nobody currently knows where he's at, but according to self-acclaimed experts, wherever he's at, he's gonna have a hard time convincing the natives that he came from the sky.

If anyone has any information to his whereabouts, please email the information to or just tell it to whoever's on your gossip chain at church this week.
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